19 April, 2009. 11:46 PM.

First shift in months is going well, for both of us. He makes it through Mass and post-Mass hangout without any calls, and he and I actually get to have a conversation before he gets paged. He disappears to the call and I don’t remember when it was. It was a while ago. I told him to call after, but these things sometimes take a while. Oh, people in need of medical attention.

I’m actually incredibly pleased with how well I’m dealing with this one. We’ve fallen into a rhythm, I suppose. He warns me when he’s switching the pager back to sound from vibrate, and doesn’t do it just to mess with me anymore (he probably only did that once, anyways). We were at his place when the call came in, and it was a convenient reason for me to come back here and work (ha, work). I’m calm. I’m not freaking out. This is a good feeling.

I think that it might be a result of writing this. I’m not keeping it to myself, I’m not distracting myself from worry. I was scared to post these entries—I’m okay being vulnerable with people I know, people who I trust, but I don’t know who most of you reading this are. I’m saying, “Yes, I’m scared of these things sometimes. But here you go.”

I’ve found a new friend or two through this. That people actually read this and don’t find it crazy boring makes me very happy. Matt and Vince say that it’s a “unique perspective” on EMS (they both used that exact same wording).

I should go do real work now. Before that—take a look at the links on the side. There’s the BEMCo movie “State Your Emergency” (Matt’s in it and will hate me for pointing that out), Siren Voices (my favorite EMS blog), and a few others things that I’ll occasionally look at.